Life And Such
by TalleyAnne
Summary: Loretta, a smart-mouthed girl, is the first of her-gender-to be a camper at CGL.. what will she find.. why do i suck at summaries? is it like a gift in reverse? i dunno, jsut read


I'm writing this for my friend online Loretta, so yeah.. Enjoy!

Life and such

Chapter 1. Getting Acquainted

"Loretta Atkins, is it?" The man said. I snapped out of my trance.

_No, im Smokey the Bear_, i thought in my head. "Yeah, don't wear it out," i said emotionlessly. I tried to stop myself, but i couldn't help but thinking: _Only _you_ can prevent forest fires_.

"Ok, um, I." He paused dramatically. "Am Mr. Sir. When I talk to you, you will respond using my name. Got that?" Mr. Sir said.

I chuckled, letting my lip curl up a bit. "Yeah. Whatever."

"Excuse me?"

_You're excused_, i thought. "Yes, Mr. Sir."

"Let's get your uniform," He said, standing up and motioning for me to follow.

_Great, let's play follow the leader_, I thought. _And do i really have to wear that orange thing? Fabulous. The boys will be all over me like fruit flies on a cake when im in _that_ thing._

Mr. Sir led me into a small back room where boxes of hideous orange-tinted jumpsuits were tucked inside. "You'll change ri-right here," he said.

_Great. I get to strip in front of a perverted old man. The fun just _never_ ends, does it_, I thought. I looked at him, obviously waiting for something to change into.

He just kept staring back.

I cocked an eyebrow and scratched my side through my black tank top with The Distillers written across the left shoulder. "Um, aren't you going to give me anything to change _into_, Mr. Sir?" I asked, laughing hysterically inside.

He snapped back into reality. "Oh, yeah, yes um, you're right," he stuttered. He turned around and started looking through a box.

I rolled my eyes. _Wack job_, I thought. _If i have to spend any of my free time alone with _this _cool dude, I'm going to go insane_. My eyebrows furrowed as he got down another box and picked through even more ugly orange suits. Then another man entered the room, with a big sun burnt nose. He looked very happy. Too happy. 

"Hello there, little lady!" He cheerfully greeted me. Then he doubled back, noticing that I was a girl.

I grimaced and mouthed _Hi_.

"Pendanski, get over here and help me," Mr. Sir said. Pendanski? Weird. Well, Pendanski was looking bewildered. He made his way to Mr. Sir. 

"C-Carl!" He said quietly. "She's a-a _girl_!"

Mr. Sir rolled his eyes. "No, she's my uncle. Now help me. I can't find one that's small enough. She's so short and shrimpy." Pendanski willingly followed orders.

I had to restrain myself from tackling Mr. Sir. Okay, so maybe i was short, but i wasn't shrimpy. Even if I was, I was determined to prove that I wasn't.

This seemed to be taking a long time. I let my green backpack drop to the floor. I sat down, taking out my CD player. I turned it on, slipped the phones over my ears, and laid down on my back, resting my head on my pack.

"How did a _girl_ manage to get in here?" Pendanski whispered.

Once i heard them talking, i slid the left phone off my ear to listen in.

Mr. Sir grunted. "How many times do i have to tell you, Ronald, I really don't give a damn, alls I know is that the Texas government is paying $150 a month for her to stay here, so i don't frankly have a problem with it." 

Mr. Pendanski found the clipboard with my files on it. He glanced over it. "Carl!" He cried in a soft voice.

Mr. Sir groaned. "_What _ is it _now_, Ronald. Aha!" He held up a small jump suit triumphantly. "Here we go, Loretta, Extra Extra small." He threw it at me. I sat up and put my stuff away. I stood up, bag in hand. _Here we go_, i thought.

"You can uh, just change later, and I've got to go," Mr. Sir said, walking back to his office.

_Yeah, but I was looking _forward_ to changing in front of you, and you're Oprah Winfree with a green mohawk_, I thought sullenly.

Mr. Pendanski approached me with the clipboard and put his left arm on my right shoulder. I shook it off, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. _Ok, the shoulder gets extra attention in the shower_, I thought. "Welcome to Camp Green Lake, Loretta Atkins, and Age 14."

_Why don't you go ahead and read all my grades from Kindergarted while you're reciting all of my info_, I thought.

"I am Mr. Pendanski, your counselor. 3 Easy words-Pen, dance, key." I followed him as we walked outside into the summer Texas heat. We continued walking, passing large tan tents until we got to one marked with a fading black D on the side. We stopped out front of it.

"You'll be in my tent, although I sleep with the counselors," he said.

_Oh, and I'm sure the counselors are super happy about that_, I thought.

"D-Tent is your tent. D stands for Diligence."

_Naw, I swore it stood for dukey_, I thought.

"We believe in giving second chances here at Camp Green Lake. You may have made some bad choices along the way, but that doesn't mean you're a bad kid. I am here today to give you a second chance, Loretta. How about it, eh?" He said, holding out his hand.

I glared at it as if it were a tentacle. "Yeah, right. Look, I just want to get settled and go to bed, all right?" I said.

"Ok, well, head on inside to meet the guys," he said. So I did. I went through the flaps of D-tent to see 6 guys lounging, a few with no shirts on. My heart started to race. _Easy does it Loretta, you'll be here for the next 2 years_, I reminded myself.

"Boys, this is Loretta. She's the newest member 0f-"

"Ella es chica!" Exclaimed a Hispanic boy with a black shirt. I smirked.

"No shit," I muttered.

"This is Rex-"

"Yo," the African American boy with the dirty glasses said. "My name ain't Rex, Aight? It's X-Ray."

"Why?" I asked, before i could stop myself.

"Because," he tapped his glasses. "I have X-ray vision." I rolled my eyes. The other guys groaned. 

"Really, Im surprised you can see anything out of those, Rex," Mr. Pendanski said. "This is Alan, Richard, Jose, Theodore.." He motioned to a slender boy with a bandana, a toothpick and no shirt with brown eyes first. My heart raced. This might actually be a little fun. Then to a tall, interesting-looking blond with blue eyes and frizzy hair. Then the Hispanic boy pretended to tip an imaginary hat.

"Hey. It ain't no The-o-dore, it's Armpit," the bigger of the two black boys grumbled.

"They all have their little nicknames," he said. 

"Hey yo, whatever dog. But this is Squid-" the shirtless boy smiled at me. My cheeks got red. He was really, really cute. I smiled a little, looking away. "ZigZag-" the fuzzy haired dude waved. I smirked. His hair. Sheesh. "And Magnet." 

"At your service," Magnet said, winking.

I rolled my eyes.

"This," Pendanski said, walking over to a tiny boy laying on his back in a cot, who hadn't said a word yet, looking like he wanted to be left alone. "Is Zero. Cuz he ain't got nothing in this little head of his."

I stared. _And you do?_ I thought. Zero rolled over on his side to face the wall.

"And that," Squid said, nodding his head towards Pendanski, "is Mom."

"Yes, well, they call me Mom sometimes, Loretta," Pendanski said. He gave the tent a wave, then left.

I turned back towards the guys, sticking my hip out and resting my arm on it. "So, where do i sleep?"

X-Ray got up and stood so close to me i wanted to squirm. He looked me over, top to bottom, bottom to top. Then he smiled and stepped to the left. "There," he said pointing to the cot between Zero and ZigZag.

"So," Squid's voice boomed. "You're a girl."

"No, I'm Nemo, stuck in my anemone," i snarled. Stupid questions annoyed me.

A silence swept the tent. I turned to face them as i sat on my cot. "Okay, you guys have been here way too long." I lay back on my cot.

"What's you're name?" ZigZag asked.

"Yo mamma," i said, closing my eyes and settling my head against the uncomfortable pillow, trying to find a way not to squish my spikes, which might prove to be impossible.

"Donde estas?" Magnet asked. (Where are you from?)

"Up your ass and around the corner," I replied, hoping they'd take the hint and leave me alone. I'll admit they were hot, but i was tired. 

"What ya do ta get hea?" X-Ray asked.

I groaned. "Lit my school on fire and then hijacked a bus all the way to Kentucky, then sneaked on a plane to Brazil, rode a camel to the panama canal, and took a swim."

A few seconds of silence passed. ZigZag spoke up from the cot next to me. "Really?" He said cautiously. I screamed and rolled over onto my stomach, being used to the smell of the old pillow. My brother used to fart alot, so enough said. _This is going to be a _long_ two years_, I thought to myself.

*~*

Hope you liked it!

*talley~


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